In the boudoir: He’s totally not gay
Every once in a while the husband has a good idea.
Every once in a while I actually listen to said good idea.
The other night we were talking about my blog. It was midnight. We were both tired but have this masochistic way of staying up regardless of the looming bout of narcolepsy and under-eye circles the next day will surely bring. (Well, I was worried about the under-eye circles—him, not so much).
I was telling him how, after two hours of reading blogs and commenting, I felt like my own blog was missing something. How, in real life, it’s hard for me to connect with people. How I keep my guard up and keep people out. How my real life was filtering into my blog life—I’m just the sarcastic girl with a snide comment in her back pocket in case of emergency.
Husband: I can’t believe I’m about to use this analogy.
Me: What?
Husband: Well, it’s kind of like you’re Miranda. Your blog is like Miranda from Sex and the City. She’s funny and people laugh. But everyone always wants to be Carrie. They love her. You have to figure out how to work some Carrie into your blog.
Me: Are you totally embarrassed right now?
Husband: A little bit.
Me: So, that means I have to talk about real things. Like, not diarrhea.
Husband: Mm hmm.
Me: Or anything to do with vaginas.
Husband: Right.
Me: And, to be like Carrie I’d have to lose about 4,000 pounds.
Husband: Sure.
Me: Although, Sex and the City is like one big vagina joke. It just has a story behind the vagina joke. It’s personal. You feel like you have a relationship with the person who has the vagina. And the jokes—about the vagina.
Husband: It’s sad that I completely understand what you’re saying.
On that note—Hello! My name is Tiffany. This is my blog. I have nice eyes and think my voice sounds like a congested man’s. When no one is home, I dance around the house in my underwear. I miss buying MAC eye shadow and my pre-baby body. I have three best friends who live everywhere but here and my heart misses and misses them. I’m a Libra, but hardly balanced. Thanks for hanging around here. I’m a hard nut that’s totally worth cracking.
July 28th, 2010 at 7:05 am
I think you connect very well! Some things are better left off of blogs, anyway.
I don’t think the boyfriend would even know the name of a single Sex and the City character (or maybe he would. I think his ex wife made him watch it), but apparently when he met a friend for a drink last night, the conversation was all about Harry Potter. He got mad when I laughed when he told me that.
July 28th, 2010 at 7:30 am
The husband is hot. And it makes him even hotter that he can analyze Sex and the City.
You totally have Carrie like qualities.
July 28th, 2010 at 9:54 am
Ok the pic totally cracked me up.. I highly doubt you need to lose 4000 pounds, judging by your pics I have a boob thatweighs more then you lol..
July 28th, 2010 at 11:36 am
oh see. You have started on the right foot by posting my have bloggy husband. He’s just so fun to look at. And I would like to be one of your blogging BFF’s. Not because of him but because I think you are ridiculous.
July 28th, 2010 at 11:37 am
That should read, my MUST HAVE bloggy husband.
Gah. Proofreading might be a nice trait to acquire.
July 28th, 2010 at 11:51 am
yo! you crack me up, dude.
oh and i enjoyed your intro at the bottom.
July 28th, 2010 at 1:50 pm
I don’t think you need to change your blog. Not that you asked me. But if you had.
And I guess it depends on who you’re wanting to connect with, but your posts usually make me smile.
You know, I have never seen an episode of that show.
I think I must be too old to appreciate it.
July 28th, 2010 at 3:20 pm
You could talk about diarrhea or politics or MAC eyeshadow or Manolo Blahniks for all I care and I would still love you and read and laugh at your blog.
I am QUITE impressed with the Mister’s knowledge of SATC though. Your conversation would look like another language to my husband.
July 28th, 2010 at 5:31 pm
See what you ladies do to us men.
Rob us of our man cards.
Nice.
July 28th, 2010 at 5:41 pm
I think you’re funny and smart as is your blog. I don’t think you need to change a thing.
July 28th, 2010 at 6:57 pm
Of COURSE you’re worth cracking lady. Keep up the hilarity and soft core pics of your man candy. HA!
July 28th, 2010 at 7:51 pm
I will read ya whether its about diarhea or an unbalanced life…or having the diarhea in the unbalance or ya know whatever
July 28th, 2010 at 8:57 pm
I love that you can talk SATC to him. That is sexy not gay. My husband wouldn’t know a Miranda from a socket wrench. So yay for him and yay for you!
I will be back to see your inner Carrie. BTW, though, my favorite moment of SATC the movie (#1) was Miranda running across the Brooklyn Bridge. So don’t be down on your Miranda side.
Traci
July 28th, 2010 at 9:00 pm
I’m new-ish to your blog, and I love it. But, I’m fully prepared to be friends with your, er, with the blog’s, um, with the story behind the vagina. There you go.
July 29th, 2010 at 12:03 am
Tif, I loved you from the first time I read about the teenagers doin the nasty in front of your face when all you wanted was to eat some damn mashed potatoes..
don’t change a thing… i like the girl with the snark in her back pocket in case of emergency.
July 29th, 2010 at 1:04 am
I am similar, I am the person who everyone knows everything about my life but it does not mean that I have opened it up to them.
July 29th, 2010 at 1:11 am
I think you don’t need to be Miranda OR Carrie but just Tiffany! I like your blog (which means I like you) just the way you are! Don’t change.
And, FYI, I am trying to start responding to comments directly on my page. Since it’s new for me, here’s the one I left for you:
“[TIFFANY]- I actually LOVE having my little guys in our beds at times. I like to cuddle with them. It’s just that some nights, like the one I described, it gets out of control! And I totally crawled in my parents’ bed well into the double digits. I liked the feeling of being sandwiched between them. It felt so safe and cozy! Awwww…”
Anyway, back to your blog, I love it!
July 29th, 2010 at 11:07 am
LoL. Your hubz understand SATC?!
Love that you were all raw and exposed like in this one. its nice .
July 29th, 2010 at 12:45 pm
I want to hug your husband. He seems totally awesome and self-aware.
July 29th, 2010 at 3:21 pm
Well, since your blog is like Miranda and I AM Miranda, that probably explains why I love hanging out at this place so much. But seriously. You can talk about shoes if you want to, but I’ll read even if you just talk about diarrhea.
Isn’t it great when people say that? That they’d read what you write even if all you ever talked about was diarrhea??
July 29th, 2010 at 4:33 pm
It’s nice that your hubby freely admits is SATC knowlege. J likes to pretend that he doesn’t like Sex and the City, but one night, I came home to find him watching it. He started asking all sorts of questions. He’s now well versed, but likes to pretend he doesn’t know anything about it.
Also, I’m like you with the tough time making friends in real life. I’ve found it easier to make bloggy friends. And I don’t mind that you talk about diarrhea and vaginas. It makes me laugh and I like to laugh.
July 29th, 2010 at 9:52 pm
Love your blog! Just be you!!
July 30th, 2010 at 6:12 am
Your husband understands you and your blog….how awesome is that?
The power of sarcasm in one’s back pocket is not to be denied!!!
Btw, I was going to say ‘the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one’ but then who listens to Spok anymore and plus it didn’t make any sense.
I’ll go now.
July 30th, 2010 at 2:54 pm
I love that your hubs knows sex and the city so well. It is my opinion that men who watch and enjoy satc are the only ones worth having romantic intimate relationships with. I love your blog! You are talented and funny and real. Love it!
July 31st, 2010 at 6:40 am
I actually love how often this happens.
The last man I allowed to spend multiple nights in my bed (uh…nevermind) was similar – constantly referencing episode two, season three, blah blah, etc. Sadly he did turn out to be a homosexual (okay bi-sexual, but well on his way to gay town), but that’s beside the point.
Men profess to hate SATC but deep down they all worship it nearly as much as we do.
Oh and, I wouldn’t be so quick to cut out the va-jay-jay talk…Let’s be honest – it makes for good reading.
- B